This morning I was up before the crack of dawn to enjoy my daily cup of coffee and quiet time when I heard a rustling from the bedroom. Just a moment later Oak popped his three year old head around the corner and stumbled to the couch, interrupting what will likely be the only private moment of my day.
Typically I give the kids a drink of milk and send them back to bed at this point, but this morning Oak showed me a lesson on Sonship I really needed. My heart melted when he tottered onto the couch, cuddled really close and muttered softly, "I want to be with you." This sweet, intimate utterance defines the heart I want for God; this is the type of authentic devotion that pleases the Lord. It would be wonderful if more often, in the midst of the bedlam of my life, I could wake me up with a child's love and mumble softly to the Lord, "I want to be with you."
The changes God accomplishes often hit me like this, from a different and unexpected angle. The Lord usually goes deeper and touches a more hidden miscreant thought, motive, feeling...than what I can anticipate. And the soft muttering gathers more of my attention than the noise of my intentions.
Of course Oak stayed up with me for a while.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Faith expressing itself through love
Fill in the blank: My spiritual life would really take off if I would _______________.
The answer is "believe in the One he has sent." (John 6: 28-29). My spiritual life is a matter of belief (faith) and love, not a matter of doing things for God or others. The things I do for God and others are a matter of "faith expressing itself through love." (Gal. 5:6). Just as I would not add sensuality to my faith and expect God to be pleased or my faith to increase, so I cannot add good deeds to my faith.
The way this works out for me right now has to do with 2 specific areas:
1. We have made it our goal to get out of debt. While I know that this is God's will for us and that there is a practical "how to do this" side of things, what really matters is how this process is motivated by my faith, not my economic skills.
2. In the next few months I am going to be working with my local school to see about getting Abe back in our district, but I have a number of 'gripes' that need addressed. I feel like fighting this battle without "love" for the administrators at the school, but I know my heart must be right in order to advocate for my kids the way God would want for me to.
As I'm working through these (and a myriad of other issues) pray that my heart will be one that "BELIEVES" in a manner that is expressed by "LOVE."
The answer is "believe in the One he has sent." (John 6: 28-29). My spiritual life is a matter of belief (faith) and love, not a matter of doing things for God or others. The things I do for God and others are a matter of "faith expressing itself through love." (Gal. 5:6). Just as I would not add sensuality to my faith and expect God to be pleased or my faith to increase, so I cannot add good deeds to my faith.
The way this works out for me right now has to do with 2 specific areas:
1. We have made it our goal to get out of debt. While I know that this is God's will for us and that there is a practical "how to do this" side of things, what really matters is how this process is motivated by my faith, not my economic skills.
2. In the next few months I am going to be working with my local school to see about getting Abe back in our district, but I have a number of 'gripes' that need addressed. I feel like fighting this battle without "love" for the administrators at the school, but I know my heart must be right in order to advocate for my kids the way God would want for me to.
As I'm working through these (and a myriad of other issues) pray that my heart will be one that "BELIEVES" in a manner that is expressed by "LOVE."
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Course Update
For the past three weeks (prior to last night) we have not met for our weekly Sonship course because of evening commitments and travel plans. We met last night to review the lesson on repentance (of which I have noted some of my thoughts in other blog entries).
One of the questions that we were asked to consider is "How are faith and repentance connected?" A verse that came to my mind is Hebrews 11:6
"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him."
When I am convicted of sin my first few thoughts/feelings have to do with dread, fear, embarrassment, shame and guilt; since my sin is displeasing to God I can easily believe that I am displeasing to God. "Faith" is the predecessor of repentance and the rails upon which repentance rolls.
I repent TO God, which means I believe (have faith) in Him.
I repent BECAUSE I believe (have faith that) He will forgive me.
In repentance I am forgiven because God's Son has already experienced the dread, fear, embarrassment, shame and guilt...and received the judgment I deserve. Repentance is predicated on Faith in a loving, forgiving, relational God.
This weeks lesson has to do with the Holy Spirit's roll in walking with God. I'll keep you posted!
One of the questions that we were asked to consider is "How are faith and repentance connected?" A verse that came to my mind is Hebrews 11:6
"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him."
When I am convicted of sin my first few thoughts/feelings have to do with dread, fear, embarrassment, shame and guilt; since my sin is displeasing to God I can easily believe that I am displeasing to God. "Faith" is the predecessor of repentance and the rails upon which repentance rolls.
I repent TO God, which means I believe (have faith) in Him.
I repent BECAUSE I believe (have faith that) He will forgive me.
In repentance I am forgiven because God's Son has already experienced the dread, fear, embarrassment, shame and guilt...and received the judgment I deserve. Repentance is predicated on Faith in a loving, forgiving, relational God.
This weeks lesson has to do with the Holy Spirit's roll in walking with God. I'll keep you posted!
Monday, February 9, 2009
Sonship Quotes
"God is not one who wants to trip him up or disdain him for the least slip up, but really is his partner." (Speaking of how George Mueller viewed his "partnership" with God).
"Where did the idea ever come from that it was we who were in the business of reforming ourselves and not God? Where it was we who were in the business of changing or rehabilitating ourselves and not God?" (Speaking of the 'Joy' of repentance...watching God change us.)
"Grace means the energy that God will give you, if you go to the sacraments and obey Him and do good." (Speaking of the false notion that we are able to sanctify ourselves through obedience to man-created laws rather than relying fully on God's unmerited favor. This contrasts the truth of the Gospel...that Grace is God's unmerited favor. Religious ritual, when approached in this manner, can actually "cancel out the gospel in my life, or at least severely hamper it.")
"I need to live in the faith and understand the gospel. Right now I need an application of the sprinkled blood of Christ...Right now we need a present application of the blood of Christ." (Speaking of the current reality of my need for repentance and forgiveness.)
"If your conscience is alive, faith and repentance become things that are most difficult to perform." (Speaking of the how the "pangs of conscience" are not satisfied with anything (law keeping, empty promises or religious rites) but repentance...Jesus' blood plus nothing).
"He (Luther) says that after 20 years he still feels the old clinging dirt. For any of us to presume that we have risen above this and have somehow gotten the life of faith and repentance down pat is nonsense." (Speaking of Luther's admission that even after 20 years of walking with God his bargaining flesh still wants to, "...deal with God that I may contribute something that He will have to give me his grace in exchange for my holiness).
"Where did the idea ever come from that it was we who were in the business of reforming ourselves and not God? Where it was we who were in the business of changing or rehabilitating ourselves and not God?" (Speaking of the 'Joy' of repentance...watching God change us.)
"Grace means the energy that God will give you, if you go to the sacraments and obey Him and do good." (Speaking of the false notion that we are able to sanctify ourselves through obedience to man-created laws rather than relying fully on God's unmerited favor. This contrasts the truth of the Gospel...that Grace is God's unmerited favor. Religious ritual, when approached in this manner, can actually "cancel out the gospel in my life, or at least severely hamper it.")
"I need to live in the faith and understand the gospel. Right now I need an application of the sprinkled blood of Christ...Right now we need a present application of the blood of Christ." (Speaking of the current reality of my need for repentance and forgiveness.)
"If your conscience is alive, faith and repentance become things that are most difficult to perform." (Speaking of the how the "pangs of conscience" are not satisfied with anything (law keeping, empty promises or religious rites) but repentance...Jesus' blood plus nothing).
"He (Luther) says that after 20 years he still feels the old clinging dirt. For any of us to presume that we have risen above this and have somehow gotten the life of faith and repentance down pat is nonsense." (Speaking of Luther's admission that even after 20 years of walking with God his bargaining flesh still wants to, "...deal with God that I may contribute something that He will have to give me his grace in exchange for my holiness).
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Repentance
Martin Luther said, "When you are confronted by your sin and you go to God, do not presume henceforth to satisfy the law as one who intends to live a better life." Dan says, "Call it sin. Call it forgiven. Call on God to change me." The Bible asks, "After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?" (foolishness is the assumption of a positive response).
This idea of letting God change me (rather than changing myself) is extremely freeing but at times frustrating; I am free because of the forgiveness in the Gospel, but I want to be free from needing the Gospel! I want to be purified, but I also want to be perfect to the point of not needing to be purified! Why won't God deliver me from all sin?
Repentance is agreeing with God that my sin is bad...and I think we both agree on that point most of the time. The argument with God ensues over which one of us will take care of the mess sin causes in my life. In 15 1/2 years of walking with God no religious formulas, balanced lifestyle, "perfect church," or disciplined quiet time has ever produced an ounce of godliness in my life...any godliness created has come from the Father who has purified me through His Holy Spirit. The rails that the train of the Spirit rides on are repentance and faith, not my empty promises to "do better next time." But I still want to say it and I really feel like I mean it.
This idea of letting God change me (rather than changing myself) is extremely freeing but at times frustrating; I am free because of the forgiveness in the Gospel, but I want to be free from needing the Gospel! I want to be purified, but I also want to be perfect to the point of not needing to be purified! Why won't God deliver me from all sin?
Repentance is agreeing with God that my sin is bad...and I think we both agree on that point most of the time. The argument with God ensues over which one of us will take care of the mess sin causes in my life. In 15 1/2 years of walking with God no religious formulas, balanced lifestyle, "perfect church," or disciplined quiet time has ever produced an ounce of godliness in my life...any godliness created has come from the Father who has purified me through His Holy Spirit. The rails that the train of the Spirit rides on are repentance and faith, not my empty promises to "do better next time." But I still want to say it and I really feel like I mean it.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
What I learned from the U.Va./UNC Basketball Game
U.Va. lost to UNC last week by 22 points. Of the points UNC scored, 24 were the result of being fouled. U.Va. tried for 27 3-pointers, connecting only 4 times. IF U.Va. had not fouled as often...or IF they had connected on a few more 3-pointers, the result would have been much different. "IF" is a big word.
The reason UNC was given so many shots at the free-throw line was because U.Va. could not stop them from scoring without fouling them. The reason U.Va. took so many 3-pointers is because they could not penetrate to the basket against UNC's defense. U.Va. was left with no good options against a team that had better shooters, a stronger defense and the ability to capitalize under the basket.
The game is analogous to my struggle against sin:
1. I can't seem to get a hold of it so I end up making stupid decisions (3-pointers) or fouling to make up for my lack of ability. The opponent doesn't miss an opportunity to capitalize on my weakness and is not worried about running up the score.
2. Just as on any given play the difference in the ability levels of the teams was not extremely obvious, my Sin does not appear gross to the casual observer. In the context of the entire game, however, the little mistakes added up to a big loss...my little sins along the way are damaging.
3. I can look good while failing; the appearance of righteousness is not good enough. While the U.Va. players looked great in their uniforms and both coaches were dressed really well, the appearance of the players did not affect the scoreboard.
4. The best player has already won my struggle against sin: Jesus has forgiven me, redeemed me, is sanctifying me and will deliver me one day. My best play is to sit on the bench and watch him "run-up the score" for the team.
I could continue on about the assumption by many that the U.Va. loss was assured prior to the game being started; I could unpack that the loss was a team effort, not falling on the shoulders of any one player. But the most important thought regards the difference between U.Va.'s loss and my struggle with sin and that is simply this: U.Va. vs. UNC was a game, my life is not. And that makes a huge difference.
The reason UNC was given so many shots at the free-throw line was because U.Va. could not stop them from scoring without fouling them. The reason U.Va. took so many 3-pointers is because they could not penetrate to the basket against UNC's defense. U.Va. was left with no good options against a team that had better shooters, a stronger defense and the ability to capitalize under the basket.
The game is analogous to my struggle against sin:
1. I can't seem to get a hold of it so I end up making stupid decisions (3-pointers) or fouling to make up for my lack of ability. The opponent doesn't miss an opportunity to capitalize on my weakness and is not worried about running up the score.
2. Just as on any given play the difference in the ability levels of the teams was not extremely obvious, my Sin does not appear gross to the casual observer. In the context of the entire game, however, the little mistakes added up to a big loss...my little sins along the way are damaging.
3. I can look good while failing; the appearance of righteousness is not good enough. While the U.Va. players looked great in their uniforms and both coaches were dressed really well, the appearance of the players did not affect the scoreboard.
4. The best player has already won my struggle against sin: Jesus has forgiven me, redeemed me, is sanctifying me and will deliver me one day. My best play is to sit on the bench and watch him "run-up the score" for the team.
I could continue on about the assumption by many that the U.Va. loss was assured prior to the game being started; I could unpack that the loss was a team effort, not falling on the shoulders of any one player. But the most important thought regards the difference between U.Va.'s loss and my struggle with sin and that is simply this: U.Va. vs. UNC was a game, my life is not. And that makes a huge difference.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Sharing the Gospel
This week's assignment was to share what we have learned about grace and the keeping of the law with someone who is likely not familiar with the good news of God's forgiveness. We were to pray about who we would speak with, asking the Lord to give us courage and humility as we watched Him lead and guide.
On Sunday evening, after my National Guard training was finished, two other soldiers sat down at Starbucks with me as I told the story of the prodigal sons. The older soldier is a good friend with whom the music of the Gospel has been played before; the younger soldier is a testifying believer with an impeccable testimony and no song to sing.
While they listened I explained how in the story (possibly the greatest short story ever told) both sons were seeking joy: the first by "living it up," the second by validating himself through works. Neither son really understood that the joy they sought was to be found in the arms of their father. The younger son repented of "being bad" and the older son needed to repent of "being good" for the wrong reasons; both sons needed to collapse in their father's arms, weep in exhaustion and eat a fattening meal.
Once on the road I reflected that, like the sons in the story, I feel like collapsing, crying and being comforted too. It also occurred to me that the Father wants to hold me, comfort me and feed me food that "will never perish" (John 5).
Pray for my "battle buddies"...that the song will continue. Pray for me that the gospel will continue to become deep music to my heart. I know that our friendship will continue to grow and the song will continue to be sung, but it would be great to sing it together!
On Sunday evening, after my National Guard training was finished, two other soldiers sat down at Starbucks with me as I told the story of the prodigal sons. The older soldier is a good friend with whom the music of the Gospel has been played before; the younger soldier is a testifying believer with an impeccable testimony and no song to sing.
While they listened I explained how in the story (possibly the greatest short story ever told) both sons were seeking joy: the first by "living it up," the second by validating himself through works. Neither son really understood that the joy they sought was to be found in the arms of their father. The younger son repented of "being bad" and the older son needed to repent of "being good" for the wrong reasons; both sons needed to collapse in their father's arms, weep in exhaustion and eat a fattening meal.
Once on the road I reflected that, like the sons in the story, I feel like collapsing, crying and being comforted too. It also occurred to me that the Father wants to hold me, comfort me and feed me food that "will never perish" (John 5).
Pray for my "battle buddies"...that the song will continue. Pray for me that the gospel will continue to become deep music to my heart. I know that our friendship will continue to grow and the song will continue to be sung, but it would be great to sing it together!
Monday, January 5, 2009
The Law and Sin
Through this course I am finding that my sinfulness is reflected in my unholy keeping of the Law (or the laws I choose to keep) as much as in my acts of disobedience.
Neither of the sons in Luke 15 loved their father well or understood His love for them; the first because he left Him, the second because he thought his work made him commendable.
Life in the Spirit is filled with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self-control...this is not attained by simply "being good."
I've heard it said that Jesus came to make dead people alive, not to make bad people good (or good people better). When I commend myself to God because I've been a Christian for 15 years, have seen some bad habits broken, am good at my job and go to a good church I miss the point of the cross. On the cross Jesus was showing that for 15 years I've been a bad Christian, have many more bad habits than good, am helpless in my job, and go to a weak church...but He loves me and is redeeming all of that!
So I can cheer up because I am much worse than I think I am, but loved more than I can possibly imagine.
Neither of the sons in Luke 15 loved their father well or understood His love for them; the first because he left Him, the second because he thought his work made him commendable.
Life in the Spirit is filled with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self-control...this is not attained by simply "being good."
I've heard it said that Jesus came to make dead people alive, not to make bad people good (or good people better). When I commend myself to God because I've been a Christian for 15 years, have seen some bad habits broken, am good at my job and go to a good church I miss the point of the cross. On the cross Jesus was showing that for 15 years I've been a bad Christian, have many more bad habits than good, am helpless in my job, and go to a weak church...but He loves me and is redeeming all of that!
So I can cheer up because I am much worse than I think I am, but loved more than I can possibly imagine.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
New Year's Resolution 2009
This year I believe God is going to make me more joyful. Becoming more joyful is a great resolution...
1. Joy is completely in His will; He wants for me to be filled with joy.
2. Joy is the perfume of God in the world. When all of one's circumstances point to depression and joy is found, God is present.
3. Joy is an impossible state to create or maintain without Him...He must create and maintain my joy or it won't happen. My resolution must be met in total reliance/dependence on Him, which is also completely in His will.
Of course, two of the first three verses I come to on joy are in the context of suffering (Heb. 12: 1,2; James 1: 2). This reminder brings me back to the darkest times of my life and how His presence, in the absence of any other comfort, was most real. I'm not looking forward to the pain, but since pain is inevitable I am glad that joy is at the other end of it!
Pray that God makes me more joyful!
Doug
1. Joy is completely in His will; He wants for me to be filled with joy.
2. Joy is the perfume of God in the world. When all of one's circumstances point to depression and joy is found, God is present.
3. Joy is an impossible state to create or maintain without Him...He must create and maintain my joy or it won't happen. My resolution must be met in total reliance/dependence on Him, which is also completely in His will.
Of course, two of the first three verses I come to on joy are in the context of suffering (Heb. 12: 1,2; James 1: 2). This reminder brings me back to the darkest times of my life and how His presence, in the absence of any other comfort, was most real. I'm not looking forward to the pain, but since pain is inevitable I am glad that joy is at the other end of it!
Pray that God makes me more joyful!
Doug
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